Pros and Cons of Hosting the Oscars

Pros and Cons of Hosting the Oscars


– SO THE OTHER DAY, I TOLD YOU
WHAT I DID OVER THE SUMMER, AND I FORGOT
TO MENTION SOMETHING PRETTY IMPORTANT, PRETTY BIG. I CAN DESCRIBE IT IN ONE WORD:
“OSCAR.” [cheers and applause] MY NEIGHBOR OSCAR
FINALLY GOT HIS BRACES OFF. HE HAS PERFECT TEETH, SO HE ONLY HAS TO WEAR
THE RETAINER FOR TWO YEARS, SO THAT’S GOOD. AND IN ADDITION TO THAT,
I ACTUALLY AGREED TO HOST THE ACADEMY AWARDS AGAIN
THIS YEAR. [cheers and applause] SO… I HOSTED IN 2007. IT WAS FUN.
IT WAS AN HONOR. AND IT’S A BIG DECISION,
YOU KNOW, AND I REALLY– THEY CALLED AND SAID,
“HOW ABOUT IT THIS YEAR?” AND I WAS LIKE,
“UH, IT’S A BIG DECISION, AND I WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.” AND THE WAY I DEAL
WITH BIG DECISIONS IS– I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE
DO THIS– I MAKE A PROS AND CONS LIST. AND I THOUGHT I WOULD TAKE YOU
ON A JOURNEY INSIDE OF MY MIND, WHICH IS SCARY. HOLD ON. AND I THOUGHT I’D READ YOU
SOME PROS AND CONS FROM MY LIST THAT I… SO, UM, THIS IS MY CVS RECEIPT. THIS IS NOT… THAT’S–SORRY. I KEEP THAT WITH ME IN CASE
I HAVE TO RETURN ANYTHING. AT ALL TIMES– EVEN WHEN I DO A SHOW,
I ALWAYS HAVE IT WITH ME. NO, IT’S IN MY SOCK. THAT’S WHERE I KEEP
MY PROS AND CONS LISTS. NOW I’M GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE
MY HIDING PLACE BECAUSE… OKAY, SO HERE’S A PRO. I GET TO PERFORM IN FRONT
OF 60 MILLION PEOPLE. [cheers and applause] CON: OH, MY GOD, 60 MILLION
PEOPLE WATCH THAT THING. PRO: I’LL BE INVITED TO ALL
THE COOL OSCAR AFTER PARTIES. YUP. [cheers and applause] CON: I LIKE TO BE TUCKED IN
BY 7:30. PRO: MERYL STREEP COULD GET
A RECORD 17TH OSCAR NOMINATION. [cheers and applause] CON: #WEREOVERITMERYL. PRO: A LOT OF FANCY DESIGNERS
WILL WANT TO APPROACH ME AND WANT ME TO WEAR A BEAUTIFUL,
EXPENSIVE GOWN OF THEIRS. CON: AIN’T NO WAY IN HELL
I’M WEARING A GOWN. [cheers and applause] PRO: I’VE DONE IT BEFORE. THE SECOND TIME
SHOULD BE EVEN BETTER. CON: MY SECOND SITCOM
GOT CANCELED AFTER FIVE MINUTES. PRO: IF I’M ONSTAGE HOSTING, I WON’T BE SITTING ON MY COUCH
DRINKING MARGARITAS. CON: IF I’M ONSTAGE HOSTING, I WON’T BE SITTING ON MY COUCH
DRINKING MARGARITAS. PRO: THE THEATER HOLDS
3,000 SEATS. CON: IT’S GONNA TAKE 45 MINUTES TO DANCE THROUGH
ALL THOSE AISLES. WHICH IS CRAZY ‘CAUSE LOOK HOW– IT DOESN’T TAKE ME THAT LONG
TO DANCE THROUGH HERE.

100 thoughts on “Pros and Cons of Hosting the Oscars

  1. such a bragger… JK! love you Ellen. Wear that "gown" like no one's watching. Just sit on your couch like it's no big deal. Do it up Ellen. Fuck shit up like no ones business.

  2. I don't think she's getting cocky. She knows her reputation today weighs a lot more than it did in 2007. As she said, it is risky for her career. But I think she'll do great 🙂

  3. ooh gurl…jus' for S'n'G…and blow minds across the universe…a Fab D&G or Versace or Vivian Westwood.!! Westwood is the ONLY designer that could put you in a gown that would be so YOU…do it ! do it ! if for nothing else SHOCK value…but do it good like you mean it..that'll be the biggest hoo haw Ever!!

  4. It's a comedic talk show, dear god, where is the world going to? Do you want her to hope around in a gloss-pink outfits yelling "YAYAYAYAYA OSCARS WHOOO"?

  5. she doesnt have to wear a gown if she doesnt want to. and this was a joke. shes a COMEDIAN. learn some humor man stop being so serious.

  6. i love watching ellen stuff especially when im feeling down she just makes me laugh so much! so wish i could go to an ellen show missed the australian one 🙁 god dam shes funny <3

  7. Now I have a reason to watch the Oscars live next time although I live in Europe and it will be at night/almost in the morning when they're broadcasting them. 😀

  8. haha yeah i know,, thats sound logical my friend! my point is that Seth macFarlane said in the oscars last year that 1 billion people are watching him! so thats why im saying that!

  9. when I look around me, all I see is anger, rage, and things that make me think that people are all evil. But when I look at ellen it reminds me that the world does holds angels <3

  10. Some people here obviously don't get that Ellen's character in her comedy is being unimpressed, cheap, etc. for comedic effect…

  11. True! She's so funny 🙂 I was just thinking about how brands probably give the show free clothes and then the wardrobe dept chooses how to pair up pieces.

  12. Her delivery of what the writers write makes us laugh, without her delivery, it would just be a list of jokes.. It's how it's delivered that makes it funny or not.. So yea, Ellen always makes me laugh..

  13. gosh i literally freaked out when I first knew Ellen was gonna host the Oscars again. She absolutely killed it the first time, and after all, she's Ellen, so I really can't help but be super excited now. It's Ellen!

  14. There a video on my channel of peoples reactions to her hosting, I went out and interviews some people on the street! VERY interesting responses. 

  15. What's actually sad about this is that it is WAY more accepting and even encouraged to be more masculine identified. It's considered "cool" for a female to be more "like a guy" than it is the other way around, and that's sad. It proves we still live in a world where dislike of feminine traits is still acceptable. If instead this was a gay male host talking about hosting the Oscars and he says, "ain't no way I'm wearing a suit", would people still have clapped and cheered? Would it have been considered "cool and acceptable"? VERY hard to say…… 

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